


Whispers

by thornfield_girl



Category: Justified
Genre: ASMR, F/F, Girls Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornfield_girl/pseuds/thornfield_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loretta always thought she was the only one, until she found out otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [norgbelulah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/norgbelulah/gifts).



> This fic was inspired by a piece I heard on This American Life about ASMR. Here's an article about it, if you're interested: [About ASMR](http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-have-asmr-do-you/)

The first time it happened, Loretta was five years old. It was the middle of summer, and so hot. Her daddy wasn't there, probably working the night shift at the mine, she thinks now, and she was sitting with her mama out back of the house. It was late, past her bedtime, but she was sweating too much to sleep.

They were in lawn chairs, the kind that recline, made up of hundreds of strips of plastic stretched on an aluminum frame. The chairs were pulled up flush against each other, and mama told her to close her eyes. She started talking to her so, so quietly, almost in a whisper. 

She talked about Harlan's families, the ones Loretta was related to and the ones she ought to steer clear of. She gave little details of past feuds and how the various clans were intermarried. When she started telling her about a locket that her grandma had handed down to her, and that Loretta would get one day, it happened. 

The tingling started at the back of her head, tightening the scalp slightly, then releasing into a sort of buzzing, all over her head and down her back. She lay still and kept her eyes closed, let the buzzing overtake her until it slowly, slowly tapered off. She found she didn't want to open her eyes again after that, just left them hanging heavy until she sunk into sleep. 

The next time it happened, she was in first grade. It was September, and rainy, and her seat was by the window. They were working quietly in their seats, and Loretta could hear the light, fine rain falling steadily against the sidewalks outside. Such a soft sound, and as she closed her eyes to hear it better, the buzzing started up again. It was even stronger than the first time, coming on more suddenly, and it left her feeling warm and sleepy. 

She didn't open her eyes until she felt the teacher put a hand on her shoulder, asking if she needed to go to the nurse. Loretta said no, because she knew her mama would be mad if she got a call from school and there was nothing wrong with her. 

This happened again and again as Loretta grew up, and she always felt like a weirdo because of it. She never told anyone, and especially not her parents, in case they thought they needed to take her to the doctor for it. 

It happened once when she was staying with Mags, and that was awful. The old woman had been showing her the still, explaining in her soft, calm voice with her hill accent about how she makes the apple pie, and how shed like to hand the recipe down to someone who would respect it. 

The tingling started up, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. This was her special thing, even though it embarrassed her, and she didn't want it to ever remind her of this place. Eventually, she gave in, but was pulled out of it abruptly by the grating sound of Dickie Bennett's voice behind her.

She'd been in foster care for a month or so when they brought another girl in, close to her own age. The foster parents brought another single bed into her room, which she now had to share. At first Loretta was mad about it, thought it was bad enough her daddy was dead and she'd been through so much shit, but now she didn't even get her own room. 

After awhile, she got used to the girl, whose name was Allie, and was glad to have someone to talk to. Allie had hair dyed in streaks of deep blue and purple, but her roots were showing now. When she'd first arrived, she'd been wearing dark blue lipstick and lots of black eyeliner, buy her face was scrubbed clean now. The foster family had pretty strict rules. Loretta thinks she looks nicer without it anyway, though she'd never say so.

One night, after lights out, in the hush of their bedroom, Allie asks her what her home was like, when her parents were still alive. Loretta thinks for a minute, then tells a story about the one time they'd been visiting her mama's sister in Bardstown, and her daddy had taken them to the Makers Mark distillery just outside of town. 

It should have been boring for a ten year old, but she'd loved the way it felt in there, so quiet, with the rows of huge barrels. She'd almost started buzzing, she could feel just a tiny prickle, but the tour guide had started talking again and it went away.

Loretta was whispering as she told Allie all this, leaving out only the part about the tingling. Allie hadn't spoken in some time, and Loretta looked over, thinking she must be asleep. Her eyes were closed, but she had a tiny smile on her face, visible in the moonlight. 

When Loretta had finished her story, Allie let her eyes drift back open. She looked at Loretta, then got out of bed and walked over to sit on the edge of Loretta's. She leaned in, staring at Loretta like they were in on something together. 

"Do you get it too? The starry feeling? The tingles? It sounded like it, the way you told that story."

Loretta gaped at her for a second, then said, "Uh... yeah. You too? It's normal?"

Allie laughed. "Well," she said, "I don't know if me having it makes it exactly normal, but yeah. I get it when people whisper to me, and I also like... um... the sound of drawing with a pencil on paper. And the sound of holding a bunch of marbles in your hand."

"Wow." Loretta knew that sounded dumb, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. She was shocked, because all this time she thought she was the only one this weird thing ever happened to. 

Allie gave her a big grin, then leaned in and kissed her right on the mouth. Loretta sat back with her eyes huge and said, "Was that because we both get tingles?"

"Noooo," Allie replied. "That was 'cause I think you're real cute."

"Oh," Loretta said. "Then you can do it again if you want to." 

Allie kissed her again, and Loretta tried to kiss back. She hadn't had much practice, but it seemed alright anyhow. 

Allie slid her feet under the covers and snuggled down next to her. "We'll get in trouble if they see us," Loretta mumbled, on her way to sleep.

"They always knock," Allie said, then closed her eyes and went to sleep.


End file.
